Friday's Don't Excite Me.

What a fortuitous turnaround, went to bed around 7am yesterday, a few increments of consciousness later, then I wake up at 7am today. No, I didn't sleep for 24 hours, though that would have been awesome, imagine just skipping an entire day? Would have been very confusing. Guess I'll find out tonight if the sleep pattern is back to normal, it fuckin' better be...I'm sick of typing about it every few days. It is the most interesting thing in my life right now though, wanna trade places? heh...

Three weeks without a smoke today, I really want one right now...and I don't, I know I won't enjoy it, it'll taste like shit, make me feel bad, contribute poorly to my health...yet I still want it. Bloody dangerous things. I can understand why some people want them completely banned, I can understand but don't agree. I still believe that all drugs should be made legal under strict standards and practices... yet if legal heroin is made the same way as legal tobacco I'd be more than a little worried. I've tried plain tobacco, minus all the chemicals and it tastes the same, it's more like a cigar really. Is that plant deadly on it's own or is it only fatal once it's pumped full of shit? If the chemicals are only to ensure addiction then I'm confused, alcohol is nowhere near as addictive but that doesn't stop people from drinking it all the time. Given the scrutiny that industry has been under for the last few decades how are still getting away with this?

When I was smoking I can remember that I'd always look at other smokers as if they were complete wankers, probably just projecting some of my own self-hatred onto others. Makes more sense since now I look at them with sad eyes, I really feel sorry for all of them now. Then again... I would not advise you to take an intimate gander at my brain these days, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Andy Scott